Let’s make this birthday party a lot more interesting — who wants a piece of ‘boob cake?’

There’s nothing wrong with picking up a few pizzas and grabbing a cake and ice cream from a local grocery store for your kid's birthday party. There are more important things pertaining to the party to worry about than that.

The balloon situation is among those more important things to worry about. Also, are there parting gifts for the other kids in attendance? Because, for some reason, that’s a thing. And, of course, did you grab a present the kid asked for?

You also want to make...