Alas, you and I will never look and sound as good as Rebounder

Reader, I used to worry about being insufficiently cool. I no longer have that albatross around my neck, because no matter how cool I get, I will never be cooler than Rebounder - "a precision platformer set in a four-ink, pulp-print world", created by ATOMIK devs Thirtythree Games, which makes me think of the Mega Drive's awesome Comix Zone. It casts you as a 2D astronaut who gets around by grabbing, hurling and 'rebounding' from explosive alien spores.

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