The Bachelorette Recap: Let Me Tick, Bro

I know, I know. I am just as disappointed as y’all are that it is me, Olivia, instead of the beloved and inimitable Ali. Sure, I haven’t written a recap since before Jen Shah went to prison, but I shall do my best to provide an experience as good or better than a substitute teacher throwing on October Sky for the tenth time this semester.

This episode begins with a swift departure from the new mansion because the Claim to Fame production crew is waiting outside to begin their workday.