Simone Biles buys a new Porsche because her old one now carries the unmistakable stench of theft

Simone Biles revealed on social media that she recently did some car shopping after her Porsche was stolen.

It was recovered, but what is she supposed to do? Drive around in a Porsche that had some car thief cruising around in it?

Hell no.

SIMONE BILES QUESTIONS WHETHER $23,000 FOR A RED CARPET GLAM IS 'THE NEW NORM' IN VIRAL TIKTOK

The former Olympic gymnast broke the news to her TikTok followers the way all news is broken on that platform: while applying makeup.

Biles...