Adults who can’t relax until every dish is washed and every surface is wiped aren’t tidy, they may have learned that an unfinished kitchen was the first sign someone was about to be in a bad mood

There is a particular kind of adult who cannot sit down in a room until the kitchen is reset. Not tidied. Reset. Counters wiped, sink dry, dishcloth folded, the faint smell of cleaner hanging in the air like a confession. From the outside, this looks like discipline. From the inside, it can feel closer to bracing.

The habit is not always about cleanliness. Sometimes it is about a learned association between mess and tension, formed long before the adult had words for it.

The kitchen...