Submarine crew medevaced for erections lasting more than 4 hours

USNS Mercy – The entire crew of the USS Breault has been placed in a medical stand-down after reporting erections lasting more than four hours, sources confirmed today.

"We were doing some … stuff, and then boom. My dick got hard," said Torpedoman's Mate 2nd Class Timmy Jimenez. "It was abnormal, like we finally got to do something we were always thinking about doing, and then it happened. But then my dick just stayed like that."

Being erect on a submarine isn't anything new. In fact...