Penisgate erupts at Olympics; scandal exposes risks of bulking your bulge

As the 2026 Olympic Winter Games begin today, news articles are swelling with juicy claims that male ski jumpers have injected their penises with fillers to gain a flight advantage.

As the rumor goes, having a bigger bulge on a required 3D body scan taken in the pre-season could earn jumpers extra centimeters of material in their jumpsuits—and a suit's larger nether regions provide more surface area to glide to the gold. Even a small increase can make a satisfying difference in this sport.