Excerpts from The Believer: How to Snow a Mountain

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A series of essential advice.

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The first time I tried to ski was a catastrophe. I’ve always been unathletic and clumsy, the kind of person who hates being cold, hates waking up early, hates going fast, hates excessive gear, and generally has a bad attitude. Nonetheless, for reasons of infatuation, at thirty years old I lied about being a skier and accompanied my new boyfriend on a trip to Vermont, where I found myself, at 9 a.m., clutching my poles, frozen in terror, at the base of a mountain called the Beast.