Trump beats Danish prime minister to death with Nobel Peace Prize

DAVOS, Switzerland — President Donald Trump on Wednesday used his recently-acquired Nobel Peace Prize to bludgeon the prime minister of Denmark to death, sources confirmed today.

The killing occurred during a highly contentious meeting over the fate of Greenland between dozens of world leaders at the World Economic Forum in Davos, where the 79-year-old president reportedly lunged at Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen and struck her repeatedly with a framed Peace Prize Trump had received...