Stop trying to ‘feel confident’

When professionals tell me they want to be “more confident,” I usually give an answer that catches them off guard. “I have no interest in helping you feel confident,” I say. “None whatsoever.”

That tends to get their attention. Especially because—as a coach to CEOs, presidential candidates, and professionals across industries—I’ve seen what actually builds confidence, and it’s not waiting around for the right feeling to arrive. Instead, confidence is a behavior. It’s something you can do.