My Dr. Oetker Suprema Fever Dream

I've been blogging since the late 90s, so I've been to an influencer event or two in my time. Truth be told, I get many invitations to various product launches and other such attention-seeking parties as PR agencies pursue earned media mentions. Telus once took me a Gold medal World Junior Championship game between Canada and Russia. GM once flew me to Ottawa to shoot clay pigeons in the snow and taste all the whiskey I could handle. At this point, I'm essentially a geriatric influencer who has seen some shit.