Hegseth budget plan just stick figure with huge tits

THE PENTAGON — Budgetary offices across the service branches are scrambling after Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth released his long-awaited fiscal guidance, sources confirmed today.

With uncertainty already high in the wake of surgical and well-implemented cutbacks executed by the Department of Government Efficiency, Pentagon fiscal planners genuinely looked forward to the new defense budget as a predictable planning document clearly articulating the administration’s military priorities.