BREAKING: TRUMP'S FREAKOUT Exposed By STAFFER Leaks

It turns out the only thing standing between Donald Trump, us and a full-blown economic Chernobyl was…his own staff leaking to the press and whispering mono-syllabic common sense into his ear with the kind of panic one might reserve for talking down a monkey with a machine gun. I wish I were joking here, folks.

Trump, with his usual brilliant combination of megalomania and economic illiteracy, wanted to fire Fed Chair Jerome Powell, because interest rates made him feel some sads inside.