How to Emerge from Hibernation

Women are just like bears. Each spring, we emerge from a winter-induced torpor state and begin the difficult process of relearning how to act like a (human) lady.

Here’s a step-by-step guide for reentering polite society.

1. Move Slowly
It’s important not to rush when burrowing out from your den of blankets, oversized sweaters, and half-drunk mugs of tea. After all, you haven’t left this comforting soft pile in months, except to urinate and periodically scream out recaps of Survivor: Heroes vs Villains.