SPLAT: A profile on a frosh presidential candidate cohort

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.

Frosh presidential candidate cohort SPLAT announced its bid for Frosh Council Presidents on Monday via Instagram. While their graphic design was hyper-professional and on-par with other candidate groups, SPLAT notably fell behind in signature count, receiving only five supporters.

The reason...