Year One without the dream

Knowing a goal was stupid and doomed doesn’t make it easy to abandon

You have to shape and maintain dreams the way you do a bonsai if you want them to survive. Tweak the geometry here and there when you realize you didn’t grow the way you thought you would. Scrap whole portions when you lose the bits of you that were supposed to fill them.

I decided, teenage and socially stunted and misdiagnosed, that I wanted to fight for a living.