This 2-Second Meringue Mix Test Saved My Terrible Pavlovas

Everyone has their Achilles bake, and mine has always been the same: meringue, the crispy, chewy friend of my tastebuds, is my kitchen nemesis. 

I get that homemade versions are meant to be a bit more toothsome than the dry, crumbly store-bought versions, but mine always end up with the texture of chewing gum (see those infuriating puddles of shame below). 

A recent pavlova attempt almost broke me. Nothing worked; I lowered the oven temperature, beat the sugar in super-slowly, let the base cool in the oven overnight.