I don't plan on having kids, but in the event that I change my mind, commissioning a forest Witch to grow one from a mushroom seems a lot easier than the usual human procreative process, though possibly just as abundant in screaming. I've been playing the demo for "cute-creepy" RPG and life sim Mushroom Musume, in which you - an unnamed "Recluse" - cultivate and play as a series of mushroom daughters. My current mushroom daughter is called Alia. She's a Common Turquoise Truffle. She's got a small pig acquaintance...