DAVID RAYA SIGNS AND ARSENAL SELL

A Labour kneeslide into Downing Street. Do I have anything to say on the politics? No. We don’t do that here. But do I have anything to say about it with regards to Arsenal? Absolutely.

Keir Starmer is a massive Arsenal fan, so let’s get a few things on the docket early:

1. Government-subsidized beers and food for Arsenal fans, starting at The Emirates Cup.

2. Severe tax breaks on profit realized from player sales.

3. Repatriation of the land Spurs' stadium currently occupies for low-cost housing.