Marines who jerked off in porta-potty welcome newborn chemical monster on Father’s Day

TWENTYNINE PALMS, Calif. — Father’s Day is a happy occasion for many servicemembers, and this year the Marines of 1st Battalion, 7th Marines have a special reason to celebrate. As the battalion stood proudly in formation on a wind-swept parade deck made fragrant by nearby Lake Santini, commanding officer Lt. Col. Todd Ota welcomed the newest member of the unit.

“We’re still not sure how this happened, but why question the miracle of life?” Ota stated as he gestured toward the anthropomorphic...