Whenever I go out these days (roughly once every seven months), I am baffled and bereft. No one announces my presence as I enter the ball. Not a single person is wearing a corset. There’s not a bushy sideburn to be found. And the music? It’s not an orchestral arrangement of a recent pop hit, but an actual pop hit that is playing. The scandal of it all! Worse, when I go to spread the gossip for all to hear, it’s not Lady Whistledown’s latest newsletter that I am directed to...