Terminally ill vet gets wish to jerk it one last time in Iraq

WASHINGTON D.C. – In a heartwarming tale of determination and nostalgia, terminally ill veteran Sgt. Max Johnson achieved his final wish: to embark on one last “solo mission” in the cradle of civilization — Iraq.

“I’ve tried rubbing one out in a sauna, but it just isn’t the same — that, and I keep getting kicked out of gyms. There’s something about the adrenaline rush in the sandbox that just can’t be replicated back here at home,” Max said. “I needed to feel that one last time.”

Johnson...