Who Would Win an Actual A24 Civil War?

Ironically, no film this year has pitted critics against each other like Alex Garland’s Civil War. In one corner, writers who decry the film’s lack of specifics about the titular conflict. In the other, those who say that’s the whole point; the movie treats a hypothetical 21st-century civil war the same way Hollywood has long depicted conflicts in other countries: as contextless background noise.

Personally, I come down more toward the second camp...